Recently single 75-year-old man has been contacted by multiple exes in the span of one month and doesn’t understand why: ‘What is the psychological motive here?’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 20, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

The radar theory

I know I didn't invent this; it's common knowledge for some reason. Things do not become clichés randomly; it's because, over time, they happen over and over again, across countries, across cultures, across everything. This is one of them. I'm not afraid of stating it: EXES DO HAVE A RADAR THAT TELLS THEM WHEN YOU'RE DOING FINE. This has happened to me on various occasions, and it was not even caused by very obvious and tangible things like: I began posting more often; or somebody told them I was doing better. We have to stop underestimating people's capacity to detect very subtle subconscious clues. Phenomena like this might be along the lines of the butterfly effect; they might be in another country and have no contact with you, but they know- trust me, they KNOW.

I'm not trying to install some mystical idea here; I'm actually trying to be realistic and concrete. I don't think exes have this knowledge because they receive information from the astral plane; I think we communicate more things to the world than we are aware of, even if we post NOTHING or tell anybody anything.

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  • elderly man smoking pipe and using phone
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    The newly single man

    Subject is a model

  • I am currently a single 75m that dated 70f, and others. In the span of just 4 weeks, five women I dated over the past 10 years have randomly contacted me out of nowhere.

    I am currently a single 75 year old male. In the span of just 4 weeks, five women I dated over the past 10 years have randomly contacted me
    via justaniceguy71
  • out of nowhere. Their reasons are bizarrely specific or confusing. What is the psychological motive here?
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  • I (M) am experiencing a bizarre statistical anomaly and I need the ladies of Reddit to help me decode the psychology behind it. I am currently single, 75
    via justaniceguy71
  • years old, minding my own business, and suddenly my phone is blowing up. In just one month, five women from my dating history have contacted me.
    via justaniceguy71
  • Here are the highlights: The Ex-Fiancee: Tracked me down to ask if I remembered the specific doctor who did her colonoscopy 10 years ago.
    via justaniceguy71
  • (Joke's on her, I actually dug up the info). I think she is in a relationship. The Valentine's Day Heartbreaker: She
    via justaniceguy71
  • dumped me the day after Valentine's Day this year. She called, but I only texted her back. She asked what was going on and how my 5-month-old
    via justaniceguy71
  • grandson was doing. I replied with the info. Absolute silence from her since. The 2019 Breakup: She
    via justaniceguy71
  • ended things with me in 2019. She called to chat about hiking and suggested getting lunch to catch up. Then, she
    via justaniceguy71
  • casually dropped the bombshell that she has a boyfriend. Two other women from the past decade also reached
    via justaniceguy71
  • out recently just to "check in." I did not respond to them. I want to understand the why behind this. If you have broken up with a guy
    via justaniceguy71
  • elderly woman and a man
    via Centre for Ageing Better

    All the exes getting back in touch

    Illustrative image

  • and done this, or if you understand the mindset, please clue me in. Why reach out for a 10-year-old
    via justaniceguy71
  • medical contact? Why ask about my grandson just to go silent? Why ask me to lunch if you have a boyfriend?
    via justaniceguy71
  • Ladies, what are the actual motives here? Are they bored, testing the waters, looking for validation, or is this just a cosmic coincidence?
    via justaniceguy71
  • KathyFromUK Did someone with the same name as you have a big lottery win that was covered in the news?
    via justaniceguy71
  • mudbutt104 I always say my exes can smell in the air when I'm happy and decide to try to pop back into my life to ruin it. Just don't respond and don't bother wondering why, you're not gonna get a satisfying answer. They are exes for a reason
    via justaniceguy71
  • akosflower mercury in retrograde?
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  • a cellphone with a message icon
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    The phone with all the messages 

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  • Doing fine is attractive; there is no question about it; that, I think, is the main motive why exes and new people are attracted to us when we’re doing fine. What I do also think is that not everybody who becomes attracted to us in those periods should be let in, because sometimes, they are just attracted to that glow, like moths to a flame, but then they don’t want the rest, your humanity, your realness. So my suggestion would be this: enjoy your newly gained seduction powers; you’ve earned them, but don’t let everyone in, because not everyone deserves it.

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relationship advice relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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